ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
