no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
