Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
