I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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