if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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