I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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