is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
