they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
