If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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