Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
