So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
