youre lurking in front of me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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