he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
