dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
