how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i've created a new STD.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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