I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
