I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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