I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
