i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
