I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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