I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
