I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
