I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
