Well douche your snatch and let's go!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
