PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize