dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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