So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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