Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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