i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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