I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
