that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He felt like a one man threesome
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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