is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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