Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
