I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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