I can tuck mytits in my pants
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
only if we run a train.
done.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
