It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
