Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im part way to drunk.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
