Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
