Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't turn off my feet"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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