I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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