oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
