Life is so much better after having sex.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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