Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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