I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
