what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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