don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
