I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
