doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
