dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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