I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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