There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
