I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
