I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
