All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
