just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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