I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
