I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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