I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
