You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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