I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
