he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
